Saturday, August 06, 2005

Complicated...

yeah, i m back, after the CT i m feeling complicated... shld i say angry or sad or maybe disappointed... Sometimes i would feel this is not the best place to blog... maybe for me cuz of my stupid character of having such strong pride or simply "ai mian zi" thr r some things tat i juz dun wish to share... but i m willing to share with some n u noe who u r...

Angry... with myself... did not get to clear thr doubts i haven b4 goin for the papers...the marks juz waved gd bye to me....
Disappointed... spent so much time on studyin...(to mself i think) but i think i wun score well...
n this juz leads to lotsa lotsa tots.... i will think, i juz wan to pass my poly yrs will ave results..cuz i dun aim to go to Uni but the other way round, if i dun score well i wun get to study the final module i wan which lost the whole point of joining this course... as in more stressful n useless...
i m always so contridicting,"mao dun"... whole life also like tat...

of cuz thr r still things tat i wish to share... things like the tot i have after some Tv shows i watch, things tat i saw, things i do, ppl tat i met... thr r juz so much to say abt life... but every1 might juz be too busy to hear u say... n for this Mandy here is too busy to type... i apologise...
Btw today when i was watchin 1 of these show on channel U "yuo hua jiu shuo"/"juz shoot" ...todays topis was abt childern leaving hm..."li jia chu zhou"... thr was this dad who always use violent on his daughter... he actually said sorry n i love u to his daughter... n the tears juz flushed frm my eyes.... i dunno y i was so emotional... i was always emotional... maybe was some kind of relief of stress for me... after the 2 weeks of studyin of the test... n the blaming of myself... i was still fine when every1 was thr... but the disobedient tears juz flow whrn every1 leaves... i really dunno wats wrong with me... this feeling have been following me for the pass few day.... i truly hope tat this is PMS n not true tat somethings has gone wrong...

lotsa feeling in me tat i juz can't express thru words... or maybe i juz need some sleep... n waking up forgetting abt everything....



having too little but juz asking for too much

No comments: